Have you ever been asked what you think is the most important part of a relationship? Relationships are so complex and everyday is a work in progress. There is no simple answer to having a perfect relationship let alone a good relationship. I have recently been thinking about this due to some tragic events happening in my family. This event was so sudden and unexpected that I began to contemplate a lot of things in my life. When I talk about relationship I would like to touch base on more then a spouse, but also brother/sister relationships as well. I am heart broken because of what has happened in my family and I wish so much could have changed. I have been thinking how I could have made a difference, what I could have done differently, and why this horrible thing happened without me seeing it coming.
This all comes back to the original question what is the most important part of a relationship? Between all this contemplating I have learned that communication may be the most important part of any relationship. Luke and I are lucky that although it has taken us a long time to figure out how to talk to each other we have learned. We work on learning about each others quirks, like how to approach a touchy subject. Relationships are all about learning and adjusting to the others personality kind of like a give and take. With sibling relationships the communication becomes a lot more complicated. How do you give your sibling their privacy but let them know that you will always be there for them? You can tell them “ I will be there for you no matter what” but when you don’t call them for months how are they suppose to believe that statement. I think could I have said something that changed the events that took place? Some many questions that are going to go unanswered.
After this event happened I have learned that my sibling was in pain for so long and I was unaware. My brother was going through something that I don’t think I will ever understand, but he put on a smile anytime I was around. I think part of me just refused to see what was going on, and I didn’t want to ask questions because I was afraid of the answer. I was terrified to communicate with him because I have so many of my own problems, how could I have helped him?
Two days before this event happened I drove by my brothers place but I didn’t stop to say hi. I made the excuse that I had only been to his new house once, and because we went at night I was not for sure where the house was at. I am so angry that I let a simple excuse be what stopped me from seeing him that day, I could have called him and double checked his address. I could have just called him to see how he was doing. So many other directions I should have taken, and now even knowing this I can’t change a damn thing. If only I talked to him maybe I could have helped. Maybe I would have made it worse but I will never know. I will never understand what was going on and the more I hear from other people there is so much I don’t what to know because I can’t change it.
In conclusion I have very little knowledge on relationships rather spouse or other family relationships but I have learned that communication is vital. Talking even when you are scared of the answers is important. Don’t let the fear of not liking the answer stop you from asking the questions that matter. My heart is broken in more ways then on and I am not sure how to piece it back together. I am not sure how to answer the questions that rattle in my head at night. I am sure that I want to learn from the tragic event and open myself up to the upsets in life. I want to experience the negatives in others life so I can have more time to experience the positives. I am not wanting to be an open book but I want the people in my life to know that when I say “I will be there for you no matter what” they will believe me. I can not change the past no matter how much I wish I could but I can be a better me in the future. RIP Timmy, I will love you forever- to the moon and back big brother
Categories: Family